Fans of Awesomeness, Behold The Goblin Shark

Today we're thinking about a weird and interesting animal. This animal, as you may have surmised from the title of this post, is the goblin shark. The goblin shark lives deep in the ocean and is only rarely seen by humans. They are slow swimmers and are thought to hunt by ambushing other critters on the sea floor. They're also, as you can see in the above video, pretty weird and even scary looking. Don't worry, though, as you're unlikely to run into a goblin shark during your next day at the beach. They live in all of the major oceans of the world, but are rarely even caught by fishermen. They are such ancient creatures that they are sometimes referred to as "living fossils." We know a few other living fossils, but their Members Only jackets are wearing thin these days, so they don't get out as much as they used to.

Deluge

Rain has come to Walla Walla today. Lulu is still in hiding after receiving credible threats of hexing delivered by messenger bat. Seriously, who else would even have a messenger bat? So, we'll just listen to this little ditty until the sun breaks through. Actually, that could be months, so maybe we'll just listen once.

Blustery Day, What Visions Might We Find Up Walla Walla Way?

The wind whirls columns of leaves skyward as the windows of the New Black Mansion rattle in their frames. We're house bound, shuttered breathing the smoke of frankincense and olibanum. Lilies decorate the mantle and waft their breath of sweetest spring. Candlelight-aglow the spirits in the mansion swoon, a-shimmer in the unsteady vision of a winter moon. What are we tonight, if not bewitched? The Wicked Witch delights in such nights as this one, when nothing rests, yet nothing really awakens. Liminal before our dissolution into dream. At the threshold, waiting, night beckons. Forward, Lulu, to the solstice.

Meanwhile Up Walla Walla Way, A Dance Craze is Spawned

This is how wer're having our winter fun these days. Heads up Lulu, as this will surely catch on in Portland soon. As to the subject of this musical number, we can't yet speak authoritatively. It does seem to have something to do with chickens, but our Panel for the Analysis of the Metalinguistics and Existential Impact of Ridiculous Music Videos has yet to come to a conclusion. Some are arguing it's a critique of the hegemony of poultry and the societal impact of feather dusters as implements for inducing... Uh, well, let's just dance.

Weird up Walla Walla Way

Yes, it's true. The nocturnal creatures have returned to the New Black Mansion, and Wickidity did take hold for a brief time in our fair Washington abode, but the dark creatures that visited have been long arointed, and, after a hiatus of just one year, we begin anew our work in the anti-Wickidity trenches. Yes, the Witch has relocated to the Blues. Precisely where, we don't know, but she's in the region, for sure. She could even be back in her old hexing-grounds over in the emerald city. No worries, though, as our enchantments hold and our charms are strong.

'Tis the Season

What is the prescription for all of this seasonal affective disorder that's harshing the mellow up here in the new Black Mansion? Well, a tropical drink and a sweet ditty couldn't hurt matters in the least. Put the lime in the coconut, Lulu. It will be Spring any day now, even if the snow does swirl in the arctic blast.

Witch Still Seeking Lulu

The Wicked Witch of We-Are-No-Longer-Sure-Where (not writing that again, so from here on we'll just refer to her as "The Wicked Witch," knowing full well the readers of this freaky blog probably know about her history of location switching.) It seems that wanted posters have been popping up around Walla Walla, and possibly other places, but we, as yet, do not have confirmation of that. This time she's offering a reward. It doesn't say what the reward is, which probably means she will reward you by only turning you into a tree frog and not a sea slug, so trying to claim it is inadvisable to the extreme. Obviously. The Witch is clearly getting desperate to find out Lulu's secret location, as she has not yet recovered her infamous racing broom since Lulu stole it while she was in Texas. Of course Lulu is wearing her Magical Witch-Repelling Ruby Bling ring in addition to some other protective charms that we won't name here to avoid hipping the Witch. Don't worry too much about Lulu, though. She's proven she can stand up to the Wicked Witch and she will continue to outwit her.

The West Texas Tumbleweed is also covering this story and has its own advice on dealing with this new turn of events, so you might want to check that out, too.

Zelda del West