West Texas Wicktionary

The Witch's Dictionary-- Long before a certain Walla Walla Wickidity bigwig disappeared into the vast wasteland of West Texas, she created her masterwork of linguistic obfuscation, a set of portmanteaus so pretentious, so pedantic, and sometimes so sadistic, that linguists still puzzle over their real meanings. Some have been decoded. Many, however, contain meanings so convoluted that they defy all rational explanation, making them either useless or brilliant, though experts may never agree which is the case. This blog, in an effort to shine a light into the dark, damp, and often slimy mental machinations of the Wicked Witch of West Texas, will publish the meanings of some of these portmanteaus as they become known.

A word of warning-- these portmanteaus are inappropriate for everyone, and should not, under any circumstances be read, except as a way of guarding against their creator and better understanding the threat she poses to polite society. None of these portmanteaus should be taken to suggest any actual behavior. Also, reading about these words may cause dry mouth, dizziness upon standing, frequent urination, and sleep disturbances. That said, enjoy...

Knickle- Portparts: knuckle, tickle. Definition: to tickle with one's knuckles.

Brickle- Portparts: brick, tickle. Definition: to tickle with a brick.

Tortainment: Portparts: torture or torment, entertain. Definition: to entertain by means of torture or torment.

Huggle- Portparts: struggle, hug. Definition: to hug someone who is struggling.

Poisoeuvres: Portparts: poison, hors d'oeuvres. Definition: a poisoned appetizer, which de-necessitates further cooking. A labor-saving innovation. (Not to be mistaken for a seafood amuse bouche.)

There is a great deal more to come as we begin to comprehend the full horror of the Wicked Witch of West Texas's terrible crimes. Crimes against humanity, language, and good form. Stay tuned.

Posted By: Zelda del West

Klaus is in the haus

Nomi. Twist like your sister. If you dare to twist your sister, that is. They'll turn wicked on you, be warned.

Follow, Deep

Drive long. A long drive and perfect weather, but trip's end will find sleep only for the consumed.

Beware the Dark in Day, Light-Bring, Dark Wing

We hear tidings, odd and unproven.

Walla Walla Bing Bang

Bezoumny days up Walla way, and music is in the air. Summer's around the corner and we're tempted to cut a rug, though the New Black Mansion is rug free after too many winter soirees wore them all to dust. Do resist, Lulu, the urge to succumb to this latest dance song mania that grips our sleepy town.

Petals Aloft on Sweet Breeze, We Go Airborne and Rejoice the Day

Friends. Thank you for alighting here for a still moment of ebb from the swirl of the day. Rainbows and peppermint paint the sensory fabric of this moment trapped in pixels and language. Flow, dear ones and embrace the sweet, weird wonder of the now, and peace out. The ethers bear hopeful vibrations and the ectoplasm fairly shimmers this day. All omens look promising. There is nothing so wondrous as a Walla Walla spring. Hot August seems far away, as does the fog of January. Charts are all promising a summer unmatched. This shall be the summer of the nightmare's discontent, exploding as it will across the ectosphere in sanguinous glory.

Thank You

So many birthday wishes have poured into the New Black Mansion that we're awash in the loveliness of it all. We love you all for the kind thoughts and warm wishes. Today, of all days, calls for a ditty of sweet new beginnings. Spring will spring and the Jackalopes rise. Walla Walla brims with magic this day and will for some time to come. All that is old makes way for the new. We've been waiting some time under darkness, and sand castles fell, but the all is now as it should be.